2016 and Me EN
Starting a WeChat public account wasn’t intended to participate in zero-sum games or waste others’ time, but rather to find a way to express some rambling thoughts and fulfill my extravagant hope of warming others’ hearts.
2016 was my first year of formal work. On the last day, I want to spend some time talking about my new and old understanding of this world.
(Photo taken from the cover of Meng Fanli’s translation of “On Liberty”)
Was 2016 Special… …?
Humans are very strange animals. We invented the concept of “time,” yet we neither truly live in the present nor do many possess the detachment that could make us more awake.
I don’t know if this year will leave some special traces from a historical perspective. Brexit, refugees, airstrikes, US elections, China’s consumption upgrade, WeChat establishing its position as a basic citizen service…
For me personally, this year should be one where I tried to open my eyes. I found more joy in reading with a mindset that tried not to have any preconceived positions, watched some documentaries I couldn’t get into before, rediscovered and rekindled some interest in games, tried foolishly recording two songs with software, seemed to lose a little weight though I didn’t participate in marathons due to an old knee injury, fell in love with podcasts, discovered several blogs that could help broaden my horizons, became very curious about mainstream and non-mainstream religions, found some exciting common principles between New Age movements, Buddhism, modern psychology, and quantum mechanics, somewhat understood how many difficulties the charitable work I previously wanted to pursue actually faces, and even began caring about politics from the perspective of how to make human society cooperate better - something I had always detested since childhood. Although at the same time, programming languages regressed rather than advanced, English vocabulary still gave me headaches, pronunciation was still careless, and in the workplace I only observed an Indian colleague jump three levels in one year, I still feel this year helped me find a basic posture for facing this world.
After typing out an essay harshly criticizing the unsolvable aspects of this world, I felt unwilling and typed another piece titled “Solution.” After first having the title “Solution,” I walked all the way toward believing everything has a solution, finally concluding for myself that “the so-called solution is finally being able to face peaceful life with a smile.” Thinking about how I discussed with roommates analyzing specific argumentation processes without being influenced by viewpoints, then looking at my own putting-the-cart-before-the-horse approach, it’s really laughable. It seems this forced “solution” probably can’t withstand scrutiny.
Finally being able to face peaceful life with a smile.
This isn’t an answer, but it might serve as a cornerstone of my worldview. So it’s still worth being happy about, so this year still had some harvest.
Strange Books?
(Image taken from blog whatnowgrasshopper)
Among the rather strange books, there was an autobiography by a woman claiming to be from Mars, whose descriptions of the Martian world and aliens beginning life on Earth were more exciting than many science fiction novels. Interestingly, many viewpoints aligned with those of “Bashar,” a Sirian who claims to speak through Earth human bodies.
Summarizing their general meaning: major planets in our solar system have all at least once had life in this material dimension we currently inhabit, and today most have ascended to dimensions that don’t depend on physical bodies for living. In that kind of dimension, creating everything needed requires only mental imagination. Interestingly, Omenc from Venus said that the process of creating through thought must be extremely cautious because they cannot be deleted! This is somewhat like a computer’s delete key - files aren’t actually thrown away, their storage location can just be used by other files, creating an illusion of being deleted. More interestingly, after coming to Earth, she discovered the same magical creative process could be realized in this lower material world, just with an added material-level production process. Thus the complete creative process becomes: thinking, recording in text, actual operation, examining and recognizing the creation. Re-understanding creation from this perspective made me develop respect for architectural designers and also gain fondness for industry. Father should feel comforted here.
The book also mentions that Earth’s special place in the solar system lies in having only one satellite - the Moon. So for a long time, Earth, influenced by lunar gravity, has been considered an unbalanced extreme world. Thinking of super moons, and the English word “lunatic” for crazy people also containing the root “luna” representing the moon, then this year’s increasingly obvious polarization trends and global regression in globalization processes, while finding it interesting also makes one gasp.
The “Conversations with God” series can also be discussed together with the previous book. This series can be understood as chat records of a guy with split personality talking to himself, with the awesome part being that his other personality is God. This monotheistic worldview has many similarities with the world described by the two aliens above, and also shares common principles with New Age movements, Buddhism, and Zen. While being reasonable, it also has the humorous satirical flavor of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” making it very interesting and satisfying to read.
Facing such books, maintaining some adherence to preconceived viewpoints makes it difficult to have the joyful experience of sharing the author’s sorrows and joys. Emptying the cup to feel is often a very beneficial way of reading and living. When facing multiple understandings of this world that are difficult to disprove, I’m more inclined to choose the one that seems more interesting. (Serious reading should naturally be treated differently; this is also a reminder to myself.)
Bruce Lee
(Image from Wikipedia)
Bruce Lee’s most famous maxim should be this passage explaining the supreme goodness of water:
“You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.”
Maintain an ethereal mind, formless, methodless, just like water. Water poured into a cup becomes the cup’s shape, poured into a bottle becomes the bottle’s shape, poured into a teapot becomes the teapot’s shape. And water can carry boats and also overturn them. Be like water, my friend.
Discovering Bruce Lee’s podcast was also a major harvest this year. I only learned about Bruce Lee’s life this year, only learned about his philosophy undergraduate background and his lifelong study of Buddhism and Zen. Bruce Lee’s life and writings could merit several separate discussions; for now let me set that aside and talk about what this discovery itself brought me.
By chance I discovered a website that creates new vocabulary to describe this world: Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.
It once featured an episode about a word called “sonder,” defined as follows:
sonder - n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.
Translation attempt: A kind of understanding that people passing by in a hurry also live lives as complex, varied, rich and colorful as your own.
Most of the time, people hastily use a few nouns to establish knowledge of a person or thing. Admitting one’s ignorance, even after memorizing names, still being ignorant, requires tremendous courage.
Nouns are APIs, interfaces for human experience. Things you’ve experienced that I’ve also experienced, things you’ve seen that I’ve also seen, can use nouns for convenience in communication. Few people can’t write the character for snow, but people who haven’t seen snow, even if they memorize this character perfectly, won’t enrich their understanding of the phenomenon of snow itself one bit. In life it’s often difficult to have communicating parties with similar experiential knowledge, especially in numerous public articles. Letting go of attachment to nouns, believing that behind any person’s actions there’s often a complex causation you’ll never understand, believing in human diversity - your world might very well become more exciting and interesting.
“An artist is first a warm person, a thinker full of human flavor, then they can possibly be a literary artist who embraces all human goodness and evil.” - Chen Yingzhen
Bruce Lee was an artist who highly integrated his learning and thinking with his body. But seeing through his action films to perceive his understanding of human nature and the world isn’t easy - this requires you first to calm your mind, then also have some insight. Walking slowly, breathing slowly, chewing slowly - life gains much more flavor this way.
Religion
(Photographed at Dzogchen Beara Meditation Retreat Centre)
I must thank Li Ruyi for helping me find Paul Sin’s articles interpreting the Middle Way. Li Ruyi is the founder of IPN Podcasting Network, loves technology, is warm, has character, writing skills, occasionally active on Zhihu Q&A, relatively easy to find, so I won’t elaborate here. Paul Sin’s background is very interesting - simply put, he’s a computer science undergraduate who wrote some of the earliest Sudoku-solving programs, has an MBA, studied major religions since childhood, has immeasurably deep insights into Buddhism and Zen both vertically and horizontally, loves movies, games, music, and also wrote a piece praising “The Three-Body Problem” - a Greater Asian Chinese person. This made me start fantasizing whether Wang Xiaobo, if still alive, would start a tech media company specifically to promote lovely old scholars who drink congee without pickles. Reading Paul’s blog filled me with infinite longing for beautiful humans with wide-ranging interests and good cross-disciplinary “miscellaneous learning” knowledge, and found myself a direction for moving forward. My gratitude to the open internet is truly inexpressible. (By contrast, WeChat’s closed system is really going backwards.)
Mr. Paul’s understanding of “God,” excerpted as follows:
Therefore, “God” is not a grandfather with a long beard, nor a clockmaker at creation who withdraws after starting the clock. “God” is the source that supplies “existence” every minute and second, the designer who thinks up concepts like “tree” or “horse,” and also the craftsman who creates pine trees. So discussing “whether God exists” is meaningless. Because once “God” is properly defined, the proposition becomes “whether existence exists,” i.e., “X = X.”
Modern philosophers believe God is imagined by humans to make themselves feel good. Marx therefore argued that faith is opium for the poor. Perhaps a God who relieves suffering is human imagination, a God who overthrows earthly tyranny is also human imagination, but “existence” doesn’t need imagination.
Before claiming to be a “believer” or “atheist,” before debating with others, defining “God” properly is most important. - Paul Sin
On his website “Forgotten Lyrics” I discovered this song:
Lun Yongliang’s “That True Self of That Day”:
Stars once watched me in the night sky Asked why I was crying I said I was very sad Everything longed for permanence Yet must always drift away, like songs
Lines like “A young person who just debuted asked me: ‘Why study religion?’ I understand why he asked this way.” and “Striving for everyone to climax daily, level up daily, have something to grab even after dying.”
Such problems are really quite difficult! Fortunately they’re not many, and relying on years of guessing English words ability can occasionally work wonders.
Games, Movies and Art
(Image from website basementmedicine)
“To the Moon” is a 16-bit 2D style game made by independent game label Freebird Games in 2011 using RPG Maker. The art style is just a bit worse and it would reach the realm of the worst-graphics masterpiece “Undertale.”
There are many game streamers on YouTube live-streaming games. When you drag the timeline and see an initially lively, joke-cracking, sometimes confused green-haired streamer at the end being moved to tears by what looks like a knockoff unfinished graphics quality game, unable to speak, you might well update your understanding of “games” themselves.
Books, music, movies, dance, theater, photography, games… People with human warmth expressing their understanding of this world, whether good, evil, beautiful or ugly, in ways that excite them - this is my understanding of art’s birth process.
People needn’t be constrained by noun definitions, nor care about form. Transcending language and text forms, experiencing that unexpected resonance between creators and creators, creators and appreciators, appreciators and appreciators, players and players, feeling that whole-body trembling, indescribable warmth and emotion - this is what I can currently think of as art’s reason for existence.
Sometimes after experiencing something I’m completely speechless with shock, completely unable to define it with any existing vocabulary. Then I know I’ve very likely encountered something beautiful that transcends its definition, reached a time when I need to update my understanding of a noun. Such times are worth jumping above the clouds on cloudy nights and shouting at the moon.
Epilogue
End is also beginning. “The soaring dragon has regrets” is the line for the top nine of the Qian hexagram, the topmost horizontal line. The Tao Te Ching’s “The Tao is empty yet useful, perhaps inexhaustible” - everything reaching extremes must reverse, I guess, might be talking about the same thing.
I intended to find time on the last day to organize my thoughts, but randomly typing, it’s reached the new year.
I want to properly understand and feel the wonderful aspects of Chinese characters and English, make a simple but warm little game, try writing more random things, see standard weight on the scale, write a few more unpleasant awkward songs, learn to sit half-lotus correctly without drowsing, be more aware of my every thought and idea. I also want to meet more people, encounter more things, make decisions out of love rather than fear as much as possible, borrow a bit more courage from heaven, and toward death, walk each step well with a smile.
Attached at the end is this year’s reading list. Next year I might continue, plus movie and game lists, or maybe I’ll only read these books in my lifetime. But I’m not afraid - with my fierce forgetfulness, picking up any book again is like first love!
Even on a lonely mountain on a deserted island, I must carve out a mountain path! Mountain songs must be sung by me first before echoes can exist.
Hello everyone, I’m the legendary shameless end-of-article reading list:
God Does Not Play Dice (Cao Tianyuan)
Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind (Yuval Noah Harari)
The View and Meditation (Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche)
Conversations with God Book 1 (Neale Donald Walsch)
Conversations with God Book 2 (Neale Donald Walsch)
Conversations with God Book 3 (Neale Donald Walsch)
The Power of Myth (Joseph Campbell)
Meditation and Immortality (Nan Huaijin)
The Starting Point and Endpoint of Life (Nan Huaijin)
What Did the Diamond Sutra Say (Nan Huaijin)
What Makes You Not a Buddhist (Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche)
The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying (Sogyal Rinpoche)
Thus Spoke Zarathustra (Nietzsche)
The Stranger (Camus)
Chronicle of a Death Foretold (Márquez)
Interpreting the Middle Way (Paul Sin)
No One Writes to the Colonel (Márquez)
Noise (Liang Wendao)
The Baron in the Trees (Calvino)
Invisible Cities (Calvino)
Venice Diary (A Cheng)
The Grand Design (Hawking)
Stubborn Attachment (Tyler Cowen)
The Venusian Trilogy (Omnec Onec)
Guide to Dead Cities (Zhang Xiaozhou)
On Liberty (Mill)
One-Way Street (Benjamin)
Living Like a Joke (Wu Hongfei)
How to Live (Kazuo Inamori)
How to Work (Kazuo Inamori)
Clearly Understanding Charity Work (Xu Bowen)
The Dhammapada (Buddha?)
The World Is a Theater (Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche)
Thinking of You in Dark Night Is Helpless: Wenjia Kiln Scenery (Cao Naiqian)